Biting the bullet, Riding the wave.

angelonfire:

“NEVER AGAIN” by Angel Laws

I use to pray to God and ask him to send me the perfect man. A man with morals and goals. A man who is family orientated and motivated. A man I could be proud to stand beside.

I thought I met this man, but maybe he isn’t the one for me. At first I blamed him, thinking it was his fault. He never made time for me. I always had to be the one to contact him first. He would schedule me in, rather than be spontaneous. He has time to play card games, but not time to respond to a missed call.

I try to resent him, but I can’t. We’re just friends right? I can’t make it more than what it is. I can talk to him for hours and never realize that the day has passed. Hanging up the phone is painful. The connection we have is different. Soul mates even. I’m finally realizing what I have to do.

Now I pray to God and ask him to make me stronger. Make me love myself more. Take care of myself. Get some sleep. Cry. Laugh. Watch a good movie. Take a long walk. Create art. Take a trip. Talk to my mother. Talk to my father. Talk to my brothers. Cry by my dogs. Watch the sunset. Watch the sunrise. Take a long drive. Chill at home alone and look into my mirror and say, “Thank you God for guiding me. I know you will make it happen when it’s supposed to. I will never force your hand again.”